What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
