youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
