It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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