I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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