Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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