i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
