Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
