Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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