U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
