Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
