you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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