found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
People in love make me want to vomit
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
