Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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