Apparently you make a good broom.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
