Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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