just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
