i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
