I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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