I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize