I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
