You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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