so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
