Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize