I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
