He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The adults are the big ones right?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
