I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He better not be in your backpack
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
