shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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