I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize