Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
