he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
