i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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