Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
