I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
