She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
