it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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