Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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