So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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