That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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