In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I am available for nakedness
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