Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
