Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
where does the pee come out of this thing
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
