Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
