UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
