yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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