her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
