Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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