I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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