the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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