He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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