One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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