k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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