Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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