Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it glows. i had to have it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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