my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
