lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well you can't waste a boner
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Randomize
