sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
