i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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