was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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