Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
