someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize