We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize